Ted 2 (2015)



Ted the bear marries and wants a child, but discovers that he is not a person in the eyes of the state.

This is a short review because no one cares. The movie is already forgotten.

Well, it sucked.

I am tempted to end the review here. Please do not mistake my further writing for interest in the movie, but as a part of our culture’s entertainment it is interesting to squint at from a distance. The last Seth MacFarlane movie I saw was A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014), which also sucked. MacFarlane was the main character and he came across as a douchebag. In Ted 2 we thankfully only hear his voice and are spared the rest of his acting.

Mark Wahlberg takes up that character slot. Wahlberg has become the poster boy for failed shit after The Happening (2008), Pain & Gain (2013), Transformers 4 (2014) and the Ted movies. Too bad because he started out so well with Boogie Nights (1997) for example and was great in The Departed (2006). Mentioning those two movies makes my mind wander away from the review.

Aaaanyway, it’s just disappointing. There is a lot disappointing about Ted 2. Which is a pity because I liked Ted 1. I even called it “one of the better comedies of 2012” in that review that I never wrote. What went wrong is that in sequels, everything has to be more extreme as some sort of unwritten rule, and sadly that means that Seth MacFarlane’s humor is more present. In this case that means more drugs and sex jokes and more making fun of minorities, and it goes on for too long.

Dumb humor is interspersed with a lot of serious scenes and its doesn’t mesh well. The movie pretends to have something profound to say about personhood. Ted marries and wants to adopt a child but then he finds out that he is not a person in the eyes of the state, and starts a legal fight. So while the plot is about fighting for rights, in the same scenes we have jokes about gays and black people. It is being very hypocritical.

Often, jokes are not jokes. Like, Ted throws a rock in anger, and accidentally breaks the window of a car and then they run away. That’s it, that’s the joke. Or, they are reading books in the library and then start dancing in the window sill, or, they get high and throw apples at passersby. That’s the joke. Other than that, there are lots of references to TV characters or sports celebrities that I didn’t really understand.

Meh, I’ve said enough. It’s dumb and dull. If you like an animated bear walking around in the big people world, it may entertain you.

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2 Responses to Ted 2 (2015)

  1. ressivocmer says:

    So do not become Thunder Buddies 4 Life with Ted? Gotcha! Great review.

    Liked by 1 person

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