I enjoyed this one much more than I should have. In the 7th dimension though in which everything is objectively good or bad, this movie is definitely shitty.
It’s a shitty road trip, that’s all, with jokes that are spun out too much. Most of the fun stuff is in the trailer, and since the trailer is faster than the film, the trailer is funnier. But I liked how much of a loathsome idiot Ed Helms is, and I just love to hate him and see him deal weasily with bad things in life. Do you remember that scene in Jurassic Park in which Richard Hammond rests his head in his hands while he watches Jeff Goldblum address the camera, and Hammond says to himself sincerely: “I really hate that man.” That was me with Ed Helms. He is a live action Jerry from Rick and Morty.
I chuckled about the little kid being an asshole. I liked the scene in the Grand Canyon, that was really nicely choreographed on the music. I also love how Chevy Chase has turned into a grandpa.
The Internship (2013)
Here’s what I think happened: Vince Vaughn contacted google and told them: “I can make a 2 hour movie about google for you guys with my buddy Owen Wilson for some sponsorship.” The result is a fusion between a comedy and an infomercial. Google should pay people to watch it.
Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson play two guys who are down on their luck and bullshit their way into an internship at google. The movie shows how google is a dream come true for struggling people and part of the American dream. It introduces the word “googliness” to mean the x factor. At the same time, since this is a comedy, Vaughn also makes fun of techie types to make it just a little bit less obvious how this movie came to be. Google doesn’t care about this.
It wouldn’t be so bad if the movie was funny, but it is mostly bland and boring. I liked how Wilson and Vaughn didn’t take the nauseating management culture seriously, though.
A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)
The setup of this movie is so confusing. In a new effort to reinvent John McClane (Bruce Willis), he abruptly goes to Russia to save his son (Jai Courtney), but his son is involved with freeing a political prisoner and has no time for daddy McClane. 15 minutes into the movie, the son drives away with the freed prisoner and McClane drives after him (“I just want to talk!”) and there starts this enormous car chase that goes on forever, and I have no idea who these people are and why any of it matters.
Bruce Willis is this old man wandering through Moscow and making a big mess and yelling at cars. What are you doing there, John??? He’s chasing people without knowing why. This is not even his movie; he is a side character. He’s walking in the way of the plot, making an ass of himself.
It’s not just that the movie is confusing and uninteresting, but it actively ruins the character John McClane.