Top 5 movies that I had no interest in seeing this summer
- The Secret Life of Pets
Honestly, the animation looked bad. It looked like it lacked all inspiration. And not just the animation, the storyline and the characters as well. A cheap Pixar-knockoff is what it looked like. There was no promise of creative brilliance to lure me to the big screens.
- Now You See Me 2
I have this feeling that these two films completely miss the point of magic shows and what makes them interesting. A magic trick is good when you can’t believe your eyes, but when it happens on the screen as a special effect, the surprise and incredulity is not a part of your experience. I also got this horrible premonition that this will be another story about people crossing and double-crossing each other to the point that the whole story devolves into an incoherent mess. I had no faith that this would be a satisfying experience, so I skipped it.
- The Legend of Tarzan
After the Planet of the Apes movies, I got enough of CGI apes. I never really understood the appeal of the Apes movies to start with, and I put Tarzan in the same box. In addition, we already had Jungle Book earlier this year, which offered groundbreaking special effects in its depiction of the jungle. Tarzan didn’t seem up to the task of reaching that same level of quality. But the most important reason for me skipping this movie is that it is another example of Hollywood taking an old story and forcing it into an “epic” framework, completely with a CGI battle. It didn’t look epic to me. It looked like a mediocre story blown up in the most generic way.
- Jason Bourne
I had the greatest trouble remembering the trailer for this movie. I saw it maybe four times, and every time it took me a moment to recognize it as the new Jason Bourne trailer, and then I promptly forgot about it again. It was just the most generic action nonsense and failed to arouse any excitement in me at all. Random action movie No. whatever of 2016. Matt Damon as a secret agent fighting against the government in a simple plot, and ending up in car chases. Yeah yeah we have seen it already and it all looks the same and sounds the same.
Who thought…? This is just a dumb idea. My first knowledge of the existence of this film coincided with my first look at the trailer, and it looked like a cheap, dumb, lazy, rushed hack job. Hollywood has no respect for its own legacy. Good films apparently do not belong to Hollywood; they belong to the public and our cultural memory, because Hollywood doesn’t understand how to honor their own classics or even how to mine their own gold. Had the trailer looked epic, like a Mad Max Fury Road kind of epic, I would have considered going. But Ben-Hur was never meant to stand on its own legs; only on the floating ghost-legs of nostalgia. For me it crashed on the ground.
AND the ones I DID see, were horrible disappointments! Independence Day: Resurgence! Alice Through the Looking Glass! Ugh! Suicide Squad. Batman v Superman. Ughhhh.
This is going to be the Year of the Animated Movie. Mark my words. Zootopia. Finding Dory. Kubo and the Two Strings…